I Will Push You Off This Stegosaurus

Image above: View from the park.

Luke and I spent some time at a nearby park today. It was about as quiet and tranquil as a park can be when it is semi-filled with squawking toddlers. Luke ate a happy meal. I ate my Big Mac. Luke got a truck in his meal. Life was good. Then came the Stegosaurus.

Image Above: Stegosaurus of Death

Luke had completed the stego climb once before with some assistance from Dad. There were no tears, and he was overall pleased with his play experience. He asked to do it, and I foolishly gave him my blessing. As Luke neared the peak of the dinosaur, his legs began to quiver. He was nervous and no longer listening to my guidance which included phrases such as "Put this leg here, and this was your idea." I then decided to hoist my pregnant behind onto the back of the dinosaur to help complete the ordeal. Luke, showing absolutely no faith or trust in me, quietly complains the whole way down until we reach the final bar, at which point he has a colossal melt down fitting of an Academy Award. Realizing that I clearly can not hop my pregnant hiney over his head in order to help him finish while simultaneously concluding that running back the length of the dinosaur was out of the question, I did what any mom would do: I tried to quietly coax him into dropping down while threatening to push him off at the same time. His cries became louder. I was in a predicament. I could shove my screaming child, which was garnering quite a bit of attention off of this dinosaur of doom, and watch as all of the women's jaws dropped in horror, or I could sit there like an idiot, cooing and comforting my son, while still waiting for these women to look the other way to shove him off. Thankfully, a nice lady came and properly showed Luke how to dismount the Jurassic beast.

As we got off I told Luke, "You're very lucky." To which he asked why. "Because if that nice lady did not show up, I was going to shove your butt off that dinosaur." Luke smiled to which I said, "Now get back up on that thing. You are doing it three more times until you learn to do it without crying." We of course practiced the dismount procedure several times. By the end of third time, the dinosaur was once again fun...at least for one of us.